Papa

Oh man he died last Wednesday, and when it first happened I was sad for their family and very forgiving of all the shit that Papa had done to me and my boys, directly or indirectly.

Papa has from his grave been very prescriptive of who could and could not come to his wake.  I’m not invited of course as soon as I divorced Stephen they cut me adrift even though I gave birth to 3 grandchildren, one of whom died at day 4 and Otis’ twin.  His ashes are interned at Mt Thompson Crematorium and at that point they Joseph and Regina bought two spots above Declan.  Fast forward 27 years later, I had forgotten.

I was reminded by Stephen telling me that he was being interned above Declan, I was taken back, I wasn’t sure, the family connection was there, even though they are not my family they made that loud and clear.  My family has not been like that to Stephen at all.  

Darling Declan’s plaque says, Son of Stephen and Clare and Twin bother of Otis.  I was hating on Joseph and his family so bad.  But then out of the blue and I remember I chose not to be part of their family.  And there it is I chose not to be there, I chose to step outside of the circle of mental abuse that Joseph had created in his family.  I chose not to be part of it and to save my children and myself.

To this day it was the best thing I have ever done.