48 is a fairly lovely number really there is some sort of symmetry to it. It's sharp and rounded it is divisible by 12 which means in the Chinese calendar it's my year, the year of the Ox. Never thought I would get here but here I am 48, working full time, with two teenage boys and a loving boyfriend I see regularly. I've come a long way it's good and I'm glad to be here I'm grateful.
I stopped smoking a year ago which is just fantastic I can say with confidence I'm a non smoker. I can actually stand with smokers now and not crave them. I'm never going back there. This though has cause me to put on weight, that's ok it's a small price to pay for not smoking. As I said it is a year now so I'm tackling the weight issue. I have started on a high protein, low carb diet.
I've been eating a lot of protein and the majority of it has been meat. This has caused a continual need to floss regularly. I was doing that last night and the floss I was using was the older kind which is like high tensile wire. I gave it the flick to get the meat out and I hooked under a crown that already had serious issues from two years before needing to remove an abyss and PLING off came the crown.
So this morning I was at the dentist waiting for my turn because I was a walk-in, the wait was longer than expected. I had forgotten to bring my book and was bemoaning the fact that I would have to read their old magazines. I walked in there was a current Cosmo bingo! I was in luck after all.
It is such a young girl's magazine and as I read article after article, one in particular which was about embarrassing moments with a man in your life, I can't recall theirs now but it dredged up a memory. It made me smile.
I was about 14 so I had two of my older sisters still at home and they would have been 16 and 17. Judy the older one was driving so that would make her 17 or 18. They knew I had a crush on this boy, I can't recall his name now. He was a costal boy bound by a move to the mountains from where I was born. Brad I think it was.... (He will be Brad from this moment forward. Not Pitt that's for sure) had blond hair, was tall and had a good body, that's really all I can tell you about him because the only times I saw him was on the drive to and from school each morning. We lived across the road from the state high school so that meant we had to pass loads of state high kids while we rode down the hill to the convent school. All the boys were at the high school. We I think had 4 - 6 boys in our class the rest where girls about 25 of us. I had 3 brothers all of whom went to boarding school(one was younger than me so he didn't count the other didn't talk at all and I never saw and the oldest was married with children when I started to take note of boys) and 6 sisters. I really only knew girls and women.
So every day I'd longing look at Brad and dream that he would at least notice me or smile or something. An indicator that I existed would have been fine. My sisters were sometimes horrible, they believed they paved the way for me so I think they thought it was their right to be able to do anything or even know how I felt.
One afternoon my sister was asking me about Brad, I was talking about him as though I new him and she knew full well I didn't. She was driving me somewhere, I don't recall. The next thing I know she says "right we are going to let him know your here" and she drove to his house. I was begging her "please Judy don't, please take me home, DON'T BITCH!" all those kind of things.
Next thing I freaking well know we are outside his house in the car. Highly distinguishable I might add, it was a white Mercedes with our number plate being out last name and the numbers our phone number (back in the day on a manual exchange when the phone number was 3 digits – 969) and she beeps the horn, not once, not twice but a freaking impatient 4 times! I was mortified and she eventually pulled away and drove home, laughing all the way. I was pissed off with her and knowing me I probably got a few punches in. I did eventually look back and laugh that was one thing a big family teaches you, to be able to laugh at yourself.
Well this morning I recalled it with a smirk and love. Funny how time changes things.
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